Fear holds us all back, no exceptions. It doesn’t need to show itself and terrify us in order to hold us back. It can reveal itself in the things we just don’t fancy doing, the things we think are impossible for us, what we think we are worth in terms of salary, career, life style and so on. Most of us don’t go anywhere near the edges of our comfort zones. But go out on a limb or into the unknown in life then fear can come up big time and quickly. It is then we find out just how much we really want to change. This is when we need to find courage. We all have it but some of us find it harder than others to access it.
We can react to being challenged in various ways. Some just feel anxious or afraid and, with encouragement and support, muster up the strength to push on anyway. These are the moments in which we grow. But some us become paralysed with fear and simply do not feel able to move forward. The prospect of change can feel like a life or death choice and cause us to sabotage by manifesting events in our lives that we can use as an excuse to avoid change.
My pattern when faced with changes that challenged me deeply was to go into a complete state of collapse both physically and mentally. My energy would drain away to the point of withdrawing to my bed such was the utterly debilitating fatigue with migraines, sickness etc. This has been a tough one to move beyond and it has been a hard fought battle step by painfully small step at times. Growing up feeling constantly afraid, belittled or ignored, my beliefs about myself and how I fitted into the world meant I simply did not think I had the resources to cope with what was being asked of me by life. When I grew up I felt overwhelmed most of the time and so I would seek method after method of numbing out or hide from life’s opportunities. I was intelligent and talented but didn’t know it. A great waste and a depressing way to live and fear took me to the point of utter despair.
When the Emerald Heart Light came to me it was probably my last chance. Under the guidance of my teacher Tim, the Light and the essences have allowed a new concept of myself to slowly emerge, one who is much stronger than the old me. Those old patterns of collapse are there still and still come to the surface from time to time but never as severely as they used to and never for as long. This is because I have a new set of ideas about myself now, I no longer identify so utterly with the old me. This means I can challenge my old patterns and so over time they’ve faded simply because I don’t believe them any more. The old me was just an idea of who I thought I was yet seemed so real.
Emerald Heart Practitioner