Release the Warrior from Your Heart
Let down your guard to really let the love in
Release the Warrior from your heart. The protector, the one that keeps you safe. The one that reminds you of all your previous battles.
Let the warrior create and maintain healthy boundaries, but release old resentments so you can look your fellow human being in the eye and be open hearted.
It is a new day. Register in your heart that each day is an opportunity to start anew, not only in your life and your relationship with yourself but with all those around you. For how often have you said, “I’m fine”, when really part of you was dying inside? How many of you have jumped to forgiving others before allowing your true emotions to unfold so nothing remains in the body. The stuckness, the defensiveness that is created when our minds and mouths maybe saying one thing whilst our bodies and hearts are saying something else?
The armour we carry has been taken on to protect us. It is only when we allow the emotions; the reasons as to why we put the armour on in the first place to unwind, that we really can come from an openhearted place.
Talking about our experiences may help us to rationalise things; to analyse, to recognise to name and express things, but it is also absolutely necessary to speak to your deepest part of your heart and to face yourself squarely in the mirror and say:
“Did I give myself away?”
Did I allow myself to express all that I needed to heal or did I jump to forgiveness because I believed it is the right thing to do? And surely that is the desired outcome, yet were all the stages of release experienced so the release truly happened in the heart or was it purely an intellectual release where the heart is still waiting to be heard and it’s needs still need to be recognised? Did you silence that small scream within because hearing it, exploring it, embracing it was too uncomfortable, painful even?
Or was it because you felt it was not spiritual enough if you allowed yourself to move through your different difficult emotions, to really feel them?
Do you give yourself permission to really feel to the core of your being – or do you skirt over your emotions reducing them to mere folly?
I am asking for the truth here. The absolute utter truth. Do you give your truth away for your perceived betterment of others?
Because that is a slow deathly punishment of the self. Like a deathwatch beetle the rot sets in and soon it spreads to undermine your entire sense of self.
You absolutely have to go through the darkness to get to the light and sometimes the darkest places are the lies we tell ourselves.
You may tell yourself: “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. I’m making a big deal out of nothing.” But through doing this you are slowly dying to yourself for if you do not give yourself the respect you deserve to heal, then that is the very message you are sending to others.
“I am of no importance. I do not trust or value my emotions so you should not either.”
The Guides speak:
There is no nobility in sacrificing your well-being for others, it is a mistaken path that reflects your lack of self worth. You have this one life, this one gift, do not squander it. Dive into every emotion every experience. Welcome every chance you have to explore life and then become the Master that you truly are and work with those places of discomfort. Look them in the eye with the heart of the Spiritual Warrior that you are, for that is what you are here to do, to vanquish those demons that lie within so that they become old friends that are easily recognisable. Put down any misguided aspirations for Sainthood and grab the truth of what you feel with both hands for that it what truly allows you to embrace life. To truly become the Master that you are meant to be.
I had spent years and years doing forgiveness practices. Writing and burning letters, doing mantras and ceremonies to name and release hurts and resentments from others to me and myself to others. Yet the truth remained that my Warrior was still on guard.
It did not release when I said I had forgiven, it stood firm and kept count of the misdemeanours committed both by others and myself.
Your Warrior will only step aside when you truly trust your heart. When you truly trust yourself with your emotions. Your energy in motion. When you are ready, willing and able to welcome every feeling as an old friend. When you can welcome shame, jealousy, envy, greed, hatred, pride etc., as much as joy, contentment and other uplifting emotions.
So often you give your heart to others before you have fully explored it’s terrain first. But if you do not know what is there then how can you trust it?
Sometimes we confuse the way in which others treat us as a measure of how well our heart functions. Especially in our romantic encounters.
I remember as a young woman I was asked out by a really handsome guy that I did not know so well. He showed me great affection but instead of stepping into a sexual relationship with him early on I decided to hold back. (Which was very unusual for me J) A couple of weeks into the relationship he disappeared and I heard nothing more from him. This was quite unexpected and I was perplexed. I asked myself what I had done wrong, how had I misjudged him and the relationship? I heard months later that the reason he had initiated a relationship with me was to make someone else jealous so they would consent to having a sexual relationship with him.
If I were to assess the intelligence of my heart through this experience I could say that I had a foolish heart. Yet I know that my heart did what it was meant to – it opened to him. It created an opportunity for growth. Whether he took this opportunity or not was up to him. But my heart had opened potentially for love to come in.
Loving with the innocence of a child
It is time for us to release our Warriors of the Heart and learn to love again beyond what we believe is possible. To love with the innocence of a child and cast aside cynicism and self-doubt. For we are here to remember that no human can fully give to us the love that we desire. Humans are meant to disappoint, to challenge us, for then we are able to explore those places of neediness, the places where our brokenness resides. It is time to relish those times when we are brought these challenges on a platter of disappointment, hurt, anger, and jealousy. It is time to delve within. Not to re-experience these events over and over again but to ask your heart “What do you need?” For the emotions you feel are to highlight you to a need that has not yet been met.
As you extricate yourself from the story and dig to the heart of the matter, so you can soothe your own heart. When you start to function in this way little by little the Warrior protecting your heart will begin to trust you. It will begin to feel your wisdom and intent. Trust yourself. Remind yourself that all previous hurts and pains were part of your rich tapestry of lessons. At the end of each day spend a couple of minutes reflecting upon what your heart experienced that day. Feel into your heart and ask if there is anything it needs.
The amount of time you do this will directly reflect your capacity for self-love. Make no mistake, only you can do this for yourself. The more you do this for yourself then the more the Universe will support you in your endeavours.
I bless you with the Light of the Emerald Heart,
Elder of the Emerald Heart School of Enlightenment