How we feel in the present is vitally important for how our life unfolds. As Emerald Heart Teacher, Sephora McElroy discovered when she wasn’t seeing the qualities of her life clearly and was shown a distressing alternate reality, based on her feelings about her situation.
I am emerging from a long period where I was very disappointed with many things in my life. I had and have quite a good life, but I wasn’t able to see it. I had and have many positive things in my life, but I did not value them. This made me a very tense and angry person. I always wished to have another life from the one I had. Nothing was good enough and I was never satisfied.
Reaching breaking point
I guess God had enough with this behaviour as he pushed me into a deep crisis in the middle of last year. He took away all my work – which I was not satisfied with. He took away my health, because I was not taking care of my body and myself. I took many things for granted till they were gone. I had many weeks and months without work and I was in deep physical pain. This left me in great despair and made me go through many deep processes.
Coming out the other side
I am coming out the other side now and from the outside, my life has not changed much. Work is coming back, but it is still the same work as I did before. But now I do it from a different mind-set. I am starting to enjoy it again and I feel much lighter. I accept now who I am and what I am doing and this makes me stronger and happier. I am much better in saying NO to things that I feel are not right for me.
I am re building my relationship with myself by choosing a lighter way of being. I see now the little nice things in and outside my world, and this gives me joy in the now and for the moment. If you can arrange one moment after the other in this mindset, then you only feel joy.
I can feel that the state I am in now is still very fragile and that I have to look after myself extremely well, so that I don’t fall back into my old ways. So when I feel the slightest little dissatisfaction or anger about something, I try to lead my mind back to a better state by thinking of all the good things in my life and trying to do the right thing for me and my body. This is an ongoing process that is important for me to monitor, so I release myself from the old angry person I was. For I am choosing joy.
I wish you every joy on your journey!
With all my Love and Blessings,
Elder of the Emerald Heart School of Enlightenment